I can’t remember having to adhere to strict table manners when I was much younger but I remember vividly how insistent my mum was that we chew with our mouths closed. In all honesty, my brother and I chewed our food like every other child we knew- casually, without much thought to it. But my mum would insist that we chew our food like it was a highly sensitive secret operation that no one should to know about. In fact, she would often add that no one needed to hear us chew. If you think this last one is easy, please try eating a dry and crunchy snack like chin chin in a quiet room. You’d be amazed at how much noise your grinding makes. Anyway, like many of my childhood lessons, this one has metamorphosed into a valuable life lesson that I am sharing with you today.
It takes great discipline and deliberateness to chew with your mouth closed especially because we live an age where most people make a lot of noise about and with whatever is going down their throat. While I understand that our “social connectedness” mostly thrives on information sharing, it is still no justification for you tweet before you think or use the social media like it is a personal journal where you document everything about everything about your life.
Now that you are single, you must learn the truth that not every information about your life deserves an audience, not every revelation is for public consumption and, not every experience deserves a status update. Well, maybe you don’t do much of social media but if you treat every conversation like a trip to your therapist, giving more information than is required, you need to learn this lesson too. Trust me, the fact that you’re not harassing people with the details of your life does not invalidate your reality. You are simply being wise when you are discreet in all things. I’m not encouraging you to be unnecessarily secretive but making you see reasons to return to the lost art of appropriate privacy.
Know that healthy relationships are built on trust and trust is enhanced by confidentiality. However, if you don’t master the art of confidentiality with your own information, how can you be discreet with mutual delicate information or that of your spouse? I love that the bible says that Mary treasured the sayings of the Angel Gabriel in her heart. Do you treasure things? Where?
When you chew with your mouth closed, you develop an increasing awareness of what is in your mouth. Rather than just talking about moments, you get to really experience, understand and savor them without the pressure to give a report.
You must refuse to join the growing number of attention seekers whose insecurities make them use personal stories as bait for likes and comments. Your reality needs no further validation. Keep the element of surprise. Chew quietly and let your results prove that you ate.
However, if you still feel the need to always write a report, please get a journal!
Stretch & Thrive!