The Pain of Growth

Dear Sista,

How are you? Sweet sis, you have no idea how deeply I crave to write you every week. I am encouraged by the mutual growth we experience through this journey. Iron, indeed sharpens iron! Thank you for helping me to stay sharpened as I sharpen you week after week. Today, I write you on a pain you must endure for the glory that lies ahead of you.

Sis, do not be deceived, pain is a natural feature of growth. To step out of the usual and reach for new heights, you must brace up for some tear and hurt. But relax! It’s only for your better.

We all are like seeds with great potentials and capable of inconceivable yields. But alone, by ourselves, in ourselves, we cannot become all that we can and ought to be. Therefore, we are naturally or unnaturally planted in the soil of relationships. While we all are not so lucky with the quality of our initial soil, we can change/improve its quality and consequentially increase our chances at good growth by deliberately choosing good friends, mentors and other positive influences. However, regardless of how good the ‘soil’ is, the process of growth cannot begin until the seed dies! That’s the “pain”. Dying!

Our journey to growth cannot begin without a painful death to our preconceptions and sense of “independence” and our becoming deliberately submissive to and teachable under the right authorities. You must understand that though you have the potential to become a strong and mighty oak of international significance, until you humble and submit yourself to the sincere nourishment of the relationships around you, you cannot truly become all that you can be. A seed that is not planted in and receiving nourishment from a good soil can only by itself become a short-lived shadow of its true potential. The same it is with us.

Receiving nourishment is crucial process we must consciously and continually commit to whether the nourishment comes as rebukes or applause, denials or approvals, restrictions or freedom, bitter pills or sweet tonic. As long as the soil is certified good, the dead seed has nothing to lose but everything to gain.

Sis, I’m learning daily to undo my defenses and become vulnerable in the right relationships. It’s the way to grow! I counsel you to do the same. We all have our shells of conceptions, attitudes and habits that though protect us from “hurt” consequentially conceal and choke the great, good and godly potential within us. Won’t you then rather get “hurt” and growing than stay “safe” but dormant?

Dear Sista, you must also note that as you gain strength and make the initial thrust through life’s top soil, it is important that you stay committed to the process that got you started. It will keep you going and growing. You must understand that life is and must be lived in the present continuous tense. Therefore, you are not permitted to be ever be grown regardless of you level of growth. This implies that there is always room for more after more. So you must stay committed to receiving the sometimes painful nourishment that got you started. As you stabilize and deepen your roots in those good relationships, the deeper you go, the greater your access to rare nourishment and the healthier and faster you continue to grow.

Sis, you won’t always like being told what to do and how to do it. In fact, you DON’T have to like it. But if it is necessary for your improvement and growth, be wise enough to listen and obey. Please know and note that emerging and living up to your true potentials will require your commitment to a conscious lifelong process of self-denial, sacrificial maintenance of good relationships, submission to authority, accepting nourishment, among others.

Well, I didn’t intend to write to you about relationships just yet, but you must have needed to hear this now. The “pain” is part of the process. Embrace it, endure it, stay committed and keep on growing.

I heart you!


Yours Sincerely,


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